My friends call me Shalz and today I turned 31. According to some, I have officially reached the age of no hope. No hope of ever finding a decent husband. Growing up in a religious family that places great importance on eternal marriage and not wasting time in finding your soul mate, the pressure is REAL! Once you turn 30, there is this stigma that if your not married, there’s either something wrong with you, or there is for sure bound to be something wrong with your spouse. IF, you ever find him. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this notion. Because either that ideal is extremely ridiculous or IF true, rather depressing.

For the longest time I have always avoided making a real effort to date, using the excuse of work, school, friends, travel and other hobbies to justify all the reasons why I just have never had the time to put myself out there. Being born and raised in New Zealand, navigating the dating space in the United States was theoretically suppose to be easy. Living in Utah, I was always told there were an abundance of potential mates and I’d be snapped up before you know it! I have lived here for 8 years and I can count on one hand the amount of dates I have been on during that time. Pathetic, I know! I am no super model, air brushed, sexy looking women. I am just your average kiwi girl, with a pretty ok sense of humor, nice personality, good morals, great work ethic, who loves good food. It’s no secret that dreuling over the hunky male lead in a ROMCOM is as exciting as my love life gets. But reality follows not far behind the rolling credits and after I have awaken from my 2 hour day dream, I realize I am not any closer to a good decent relationship. Something I think we all long for.

But, in true Shalz fashion, I am not one to dwell in that space for too long. So, as the Thomas Jefferson saying goes, “if you want something you’ve never had, you need to do something you’ve never done”. I’m going straight from one extreme to the next. From no dating life to an extreme serial dater. Now I know what your thinking, this chick is crazy and desperate! But this is not the case. I’m merely doing something I’ve never done in the hopes to obtain something I have never had. And I believe it calls for extreme measures.

The Challenge

In honor of my turning 31 and my attempt to catch up on lost dating time, I have challenged myself to complete 31 dates with 31 different mates before I turn 32 next year. Some of you are saying, “that’s easy”! But for someone who finds it difficult to put themselves out there, this is no easy task (ask my family, friends and all the aunties that have tried to set me up on dates). But there are rules! And they are as follows:

1. Throw my “Ideal” man list out the window.

Growing up and even now, I have always had my “ideal man” list. But, let’s be real, I don’t even measure up to my own list, so it’s going in the trash and we are starting a fresh! As humans it is natural to judge and attraction is an important element in finding a potential soul mate. However, I have long complained about guys being shallow and it only seems fair that I walk the talk. As such, I aim to date everyone of all different sizes, colors, cultural and religious backgrounds, with a few essentials that will not be ignored. They must be:

• Between the ages of 26-41
• Have a J.O.B
• SINGLE, divorced or not in any type of relationship!

Common sense will prevail and red flags will never be ignored. However, I feel these starters are not too unreasonable.

2. There must be a genuine interest or connection.

I’m not dating for the sake of the numbers. So, I must have a genuine interest in the guys I am going to meet up with. With that being said, I will challenge myself to be open-minded.

3. The world is my oyster!

I am not restricting myself to only dating guys from Utah. No state or country is off limit.

4. Use all platforms of dating

I need to put myself out there. I intend to try online dating, blind dating and trying to meet guys at different activities. This is not about exposing the weirdo’s on online dating sites nor is this a male hating blog. This is about me being willing to open up to new experiences, to put some effort into my happiness and to personally grow.

5. Have Fun.

I know deep down I just need to enjoy the experience. Do away with the expectations of what I think this should be like and just take everything as it comes.

I am excited and scared for what’s to come. My anxiety just shot through the roof thinking about this. Im serious…haha. I will be reaching out to YOU my readers for tips, advice and hoping you will share your experiences with me. It’s going to take a village and probably the world to help me achieve this. I cannot wait to share this experience with you all. So, as my grandfather use to say, “just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride”!